Often I find myself feeling this way. I just want to write and I want to write something good. I have no practice of waking up in the morning and giving myself time to write. I do not carve out an hour at night before I go to bed to write or to read. I stay swamped in my school work, and when I take a break from that, I zone out. I watch television. I play on my phone. I sleep. I scroll through Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Pinterest, wishing there was another social media outlet to melt my brain. I do not write.
I see this in my students, too, even though they don’t even want to write. They don’t give themselves any time to read or to write because they don’t see it’s importance. Everything is so fast. There’s no time to sit down and just read a book. And what book would you even read? It’s too complicated. It’s too boring. I know they don’t write or read because I see their work. Grammar and mechanics mistakes aside—they are unable to flush out their ideas and create coherent thoughts. But then there’s a handful of students who CAN do this, but they don’t try to go beyond. There’s no reason too. They ask, “Will I get extra credit?” or “How many points is this worth?” I care very little about points. I am concerned, not even with how this will affect their futures, but just with how it affects them today. I know that every student won’t love to write, but there’s something special about being able to get your thoughts out onto a page. There’s something so incredible about creating imagery or showing how even simple words can dance around a page. And what about curling up with a book? And reaching those last pages when you know it’s going to end… but you don’t know how you’re going to get up and live your life outside of this precious piece of text.
But I’m not doing any of this. I see that this poses a problem. If I’m going to expect something from others, I need to live the life of a reader and a writer.
BUT I’M TOO TIRED! BUT, BUT, TELEVISION!!!
We don’t even have cable anymore, but there’s Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, and so on.
And freaking Facebook! My time slayer! What to do? Well, I don’t know. Maybe I should make myself a schedule and try to stick to it. Maybe I should start with just 20 minutes of reading and 20 minutes of writing. EVERY DAY. I expect this much of my students, so why shouldn’t I expect this much of myself? I think this might be the key. It’s this key that I’ve held onto forever, but I’ve never really used it. This is probably because I don’t want to give up my time suckers, like the two hour scroll I do through Tumblr and Instagram.
Maybe I try it? Maybe I write a Facebook status about it?